The Stages of Male Maturity:  is there such a thing?

  by Dr Toby Ford, Ford Health

Published Newsletter Article:  Agforce, October 2006

In a recent series of presentations in the bush I was aware of how men no matter where we live have stages of life.  From our research with working-aged men we have confirmed from observation and discussion with them that we do go through these transitions of maturity.

Unfortunately, in our western competitive isolation, many signs and symptoms we are about to transition are experienced without knowledge or guidance from older men or life coaches.  By this I mean many men don't have mates, friends, fathers or even grandfathers to discuss a set of emotions or physical changes to our health patterns.  So they never get a comforting world like 'oh you're going through the 32 - 35 year change' or the '52 - 55 change - this is what you will experience'.

Ironically, some of the most sophisticated male rites of passage were embedded in the Australian Aboriginal culture which tragically with its demise, has left this culture of men destroyed.  I think our simplified version of change, built only on 200 to 400 years of development, is based on some similar masculine instinctive behaviour.  We seek to live in groups, to find a mate usually with intent to reproduce and to get ahead in life.  These needs are basic and create competitiveness in men to provide for family including shelter, food, protection of young and then integration of status with others of our group.  The struggle for such basic needs is what is referred to as the bottom step of Maslow's Hierarchy of needs.  Maslow was an interesting researcher, more of him next time.  Perhaps readers will better relate to the excellent work by Australia's own Steve Biddulph who has written widely on the subject of why men do what we do.  His work is excellent in explaining what happens to men as we age.

Stages in a Man's Life

Manhood is the period in a man's life after he has passed from boyhood, at least physically, during puberty.  Many cultures celebrate rites of passage to symbolise a man's coming of age, such as Christian confirmation, bar mitzvah for Jews, or even celebrating eighteenth or twenty-first birthdays.

 To be a man it is not enough simply to 'be' : a man must do, display, prove, in order to establish unchallenged manhood.  All the major characteristics of manhood are always under threat or brief: money, political power, physical strength, sexual performance - none can be relied on to last forever.  Boys who hold to this kind of manliness may find themselves always struggling to save face and live up to expectations.  Even the most successful may feel they have to prove themselves over and over.  As a result, many boys fear failure, which undermines their self-esteem and sense of security.  For men, two things can't be separated - their desire for power and the fear of powerlessness.  For them, they can't see any other choice.  (McLean in Kenway 1997:13)

Feeling powerless but acting tough!

Allowing boys to examine the desire for power (and fear of powerlessness) that drives some male behaviour may help them see that they have many choices.  Some boys' controlling behaviour may reward them at others expense.  They may be seen as 'tough' and 'manly'.  If intimidation has worked for them at school, it may also work in family life and into the future.  They themselves, and those around them, pay the price in material, health and family costs.

The fear of losing face

- of failing to properly 'do' the male role - motivates some boys to hassle others at school.  If they can somehow be made aware of why they are doing this, this can be a first step in self-awareness in terms of how collective male-based dynamics work.

How to recognise collective pressures?

While men as a group clearly hold the reins of power, many men still feel powerless.  Faced with bullying from older boys, for example, they are more likely to think about taking up karate or boxing classes than to question the behaviour of their peers.  Most boys want to be 'more' masculine.  (McLean in Kenway 1997:14)

In terms of rural men's health, sexual health is only a small part.  The waist is much bigger, and the heart seems to be central.  We need to move up to the head, to look at health promoting behaviours.  We must consider each man, his relationships and situation.  Our society demands that our young men are capable of taking risks such as going to war, although in recent decades this has changed dramatically as we see on TV, the consequences of war and causes men to question the danger for what return?  However, we expect them to be willing to take risks especially men aged 15 to 29 years.

Adolescents and young adult men

The adolescent and early adult years are periods in life when many of our healthy and unhealthy behaviours are formed.  For many young men this is also the time when they stop going to their GP and delve into high-risk activities such as binge drinking and dangerous driving.  The male-female difference in death rates increases dramatically above the age of 14 years with injury the most common cause of death amongst this group for young men (12 - 24 years).  Their risk of death is four times as great as their female counterparts.  However, this jumps to six times as high for suicides.

Men often re-connect with health services when they embark on parenthood. This is a health watershed, with many of them re-evaluating their health and gaining much from family life, while at the same time more responsibility and then commitments (eg. mortgage) increase.  As men mature, poorer health can result from less leisure time and physical activity due to the double demands of longer working hours (to boost income) and time spent with children.  About 15% of women develop post-natal depression and this can have a significant impact on their male partners.  Research shows that from 45 years of age men begin to start going back to their GP more regularly.  However, by this stage and health problems are often more chronic in nature.

For working men, major influences on their health at this age are workplace hazards and stress.  Sexual health problems (including erectile dysfunction), mental health problems (often as a result of changing employment status or relationship breakdown), and prostate cancer are important issues this age group have to face.  Many older men find it difficult to adjust to new roles as they age.  Male suicide rates are greater for men than women across all age groups.

What about men in rural and regional areas?

For rural men special health problems include mental stress (attributed to, among other things, lack of work or over work, loneliness and lack of emotional skills), alcohol dependency, obesity and physical inactivity.  Men who live in cities have lots more opportunities to access preventative health programs like sexual health clinics and counsellors, than rural men.  Also, rural men have less access to recreational facilities once they stop playing football, cricket and tennis.  The physical nature of rural work is often hazardous, involving heavy machinery and chemicals, long shifts, and social isolation.  The recent economic problems in many rural areas due to the drought have had negative repercussions for the health of the men in those communities.

The take home message

It is in the nature of man to compete and take health risks.  With growing maturity, men have the chance to take stock, to take control and to make choices with regards to how we handle our health, relationships and environment.  There is a lot of information out there, as well as health services to help you navigate your way through your life path.  Perhaps what we need is more father to son, and grandfather to father time allocation to explore the transitions.  Better still, its someone else's grandfather or father talking to someone else's son, removing the pride factor of generational stoicism.  The way this communication takes place, unlike the Aboriginal culture where elders have a position of knowing through the verbal passing of stories, is somewhat barren for we whites, but still that moment out on a horse or sitting on a cattle yard or on a tractor in the comfort of these safe places for country men, could free them to yarn may be all that is needed to get the talking going.

Quote

'Maturity is the art of living in peace with that which we cannot change, the courage to change that which should be changed -- and the wisdom to know the difference.'

References

Kenway, Jane (ed.) 1997, Will boys be boys?  Boys' education in the context of gender reform, Australian Curriculum Studies Association, Deakin West, ACT